Meagher

Tomorrow is a weird day for me. For me, it is a lot of firsts. It will be my first time holding a lamb. It is my first time speaking in chapel, and it is my first time leading group in the preparation of communion. 

I am giving a small devotional in chapel in the morning, and I have many feelings going on right now. I mean, I am anxious to get it done, but I am also excited to be in the moment. I have been preparing for this for a while, and I feel like I am ready, except for the end. It is weird because I dont want to go up, and be all funny during a serious chapel, like the speaker did last year, and totally ruin the whole mood. But I dont want it to be totally awkward with whatever I do on stage as being too serious either, for fear I may lose too many people. 

I am talking about the body and blood of Christ. Sort of deep subjects, if you ask me. I have learned a lot about them, and have read way more than I had anticipated in the Bible, just because regardless of whether you think it or not, the body and blood are big themes in the Word. blood comes up in the Old Testament, when the lamb needs to be sacrificed for Passover. It makes the whole pace for what Jesus actually came to do quicken up. I was quickly moved to learning more about what Jesus actually did, as well as how the apostles responded to this after Jesus was gone. 

One of the central people that I studied was Paul. I really had an eye set on him, because I really feel like he understood communion after Jesus was gone. He realized it was bigger than just drinking and eating. It was a literal sense to him to die daily, and take up his cross and follow Christ. For him, that meant relieving himself from his wants, desires, needs, and fully relying on Christ. I couldnt find evidence of him ever being in a relationship with a woman, so I assume that his bachelor status would give him the same temptations that I face daily, too. I felt myself comparing with Paul a lot, wanting to learn about how he went to the cross daily. It made this study even more intense for me, to take seriously dying daily in Christ, and being one with Him. 

My fear for tomorrow is that I will be totally all over the place. I have notes, and I have some props for visual details, but I think It would be different if it was just not me speaking, but God speaking through me. That is all I want.

Every once in a while there is something that blows me away, or drives me to tears, and this article I just read from CNN is awesome. So much emotion written very eloquently describing so much.

Fort Hood, Texas (CNN) -- The homecoming celebration Tuesday night for soldiers returning from war is like no other ever held here.

A rowdy crowd assembles, as always, the excitement palpable. Teary wives and girlfriends and moms and dads hold the hands of children bearing signs like Zachariah Wolf's: "Welcome home bestest daddy."

But this time the community that gathers to cheer the soliders' safe return from Iraq spent the day mourning the loss of comrades from its midst.

The Grey Wolf Troopers, soldiers of the 3rd Brigade combat team, 1st Cavalry, are coming home after a year in Mosul. They, too, know that in their absence so much here has changed. The post they call home has been under attack; 13 soldiers and a civilian are gone, their alleged killer an Army major.

But few here speak of the November 5 killings. That's not what this night is about.

They fill the bleachers of a football field as DJs blast AC/DC. "Welcome home daddy, we missed you" says one sign. Another: "I'm here to pick up my daddy."

A pretty young lady dressed to the nines carries a poster saying "my hero, my hubby, my life, my love." She flashes a smile and flips it over to reveal: "Nick Vecchio's Booty."

Zachariah awaits his "bestest daddy," Master Sgt. Steve Wolf. Zachariah's sister, MacKenzie Lee, is getting antsy. Their mom, Margaret, tries to calm her.

"They're almost here" she says as Mackenzie Lee starts to cry.

And then, almost on cue, the white buses full of Grey Wolf Troopers pull up. Soldiers file out and fall into formation. The music stops. The crowd grows quiet. An officer says a quick prayer and then calls out the command the families have long awaited:

Charge!

And it's pandemonium. The families rush the field, the soldiers rush the bleachers: It's a mad dash to find your loved one in a sea of camouflage.

Margaret Wolf catches sight of her husband. The kids tear after him. Mackenzie Lee gets to him first and then Zachariah. He hugs them tight. Mackenzie Lee has stopped crying and is all smiles.

Margaret snaps a few pictures and then gets a hug for herself. "It's a rush. It's a total rush," she says, "and when you have little ones it's an even bigger rush."

A long year is finally over. Her family is whole again.

"Oh, it's great man," says her husband. "It's about time."

Fort Hood Army Post has lost 545 soldiers in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. A spokesman was unable to say Tuesday night whether the Grey Wolf Troopers suffered casualties in its yearlong tour.

The sense of community here that has seen the post through this difficult week is the same one that has seen the Wolf family through the past year.

"It's tough when you play mom and dad," Margaret Wolf says. "Everybody pulls together when they need it. Last week showed that, and this right here shows that."

I meet weekly with a man at my school. I respect this man very much. He doesnt demand it, but his aura does. He walks into the room, and you feel his love, his presence, and the presence he is trying to emulate. 

Today in my meeting with him, he shared some very personal thoughts with me. I was drawn to tears from it. 

I was asking about my relationship with my girlfriend to him, and things I could do to make it better, or what his perspective was about me and her. 

He responded by telling me that he loves his son very much. He said that his son loves him, and he loves his son, his wife, and his daughter. He teared up with anguish that he prays that his son will walk with the LORD, and prays that every day. I sat there listening, not knowing where it was going. He then proceeded to talk about me. He said that in 35 years of working at Spring Arbor, he has never seen someone like me. he described my qualities that make me different than the people from the last three decades. He said "I mean this in all sincerity: I would be proud to have you as a son, and I would be proud for you to be the husband of my daughter." By that time I had tears in my eyes. 

Needless to say, I was flooded with emotions. I was joyful, I was uplifted, I was encouraged. It was a good time for me to recognize the inner workings of a man I respect a lot. 

I was sitting in my Old Testament class today. I dont like that class. I have made it quite clear in a class session a few weeks ago about the way he teaches the class, which lead to a really good conversation about the whole class. The point is that I will be glad when the class is over. 

Anyway, in our class today, we were reviewing for our test, and I learned something new, that I really appreciated. 

Now I am not a Judaism or Hebrew expert to say the least. I dont have any family background or any class experience with either of these, so bear with me. 

The Jews have a word called Shema, which means "listen."

When Jewish services go on, there is a time in the service when the phrase "Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad" is said. It roughly translates to: "The LORD is our God, the LORD alone."

I like that.

Holy cow! It has been over three months since I last posted. I have been very anti-public thoughts in the past few months. I have sort of been in a weird funk this semester. I have been confused with expectations I set with myself, and just now have been coming around to bumping them back up and getting into my rhythm. 

I have experienced a lot of leadership, character, and especially spiritual development this semester, and for all of that I am thankful. 

So, without further ado, I will once again be present in this, the virtual blog-o-sphere.